If You Never Come Back by Sarah Smith

Author:Sarah Smith [Smith, Sarah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781641971423
Publisher: NYLA
Published: 2020-06-08T18:30:00+00:00

Chapter Thirteen

Three days after Wes came back into my life and screwed everything up

I’m on the floor of my apartment on my hands and knees, finishing my latest work. It’s not a cityscape or a landscape watercolor or a sketch. It’s just splotches of whatever paint I have on hand. I glance around the room and check the other dozen splotchy works I have drying on the floor.

Locking myself in my apartment to paint nonstop for days probably isn’t the healthiest way to cope after Wes popped back into my life out of the blue, but it’s better than falling apart. Better than sobbing while lying on the floor, something I refuse to do. I spent months working my way back to my strong, resilient self—the person I was before my breakup with Wes. I know that I’m her again because instead of crying, I’m painting. I’ve wasted enough tears on Wes Paulsen. There will be no more. I’ll make sure of it.

Pounding on my door yanks me out of my paint-filled stupor. “Shay, it’s Remy. Let me in.”

I huff a sigh, stand up, and open the door.

“What is going on?” Remy frowns down at me. “Why did you go off the grid again?” He scans the floor. “What the…” He turns to face me, then grabs me by the shoulders, forcing me to look at him. “What the hell happened to make you go into Jackson Pollock hermit mode?”

“I’m not Jackson Pollock, and I’m not a hermit.” I shrug out of his hold. “I’m doing just fine.”

He raises an eyebrow at me. “Seriously?”

I shake my head and plop onto the couch. The moment my body hits the plush cushioning, my muscles relax. Remy’s soft footsteps follow behind me.

I rest my hands on my knees. “Look. I’m going to tell you something, but you can’t freak out.”

Remy’s brow wrinkles. “Okay…”

“Wes is back. I saw him. At Dandy Lime the other night.”

Remy’s jaw falls opens so fast, I wince at the popping sound the sudden movement makes.

“No freaking way.” He rubs my arm. “Crap, cuz. I’m sorry, I—”

I shake my head. “Don’t be sorry. I’m fine.”

Again, he raises an eyebrow at me. “You’re fine?”

I nod. Remy gestures to the mess of paintings on my floor.

“I refuse to cry over him anymore. I’m working instead.”

Remy scoots next to me. “Shay, it’s okay to be sad.”

“I’m not sad.” My voice reaches that hard tone that always hits when I’m annoyed.

“No, I mean…okay, don’t get me wrong. I’m so happy that you’re not crying over him anymore. But try not to shove your feelings aside.”

“I’m not.” My tone comes off harder than I mean it to.

“All I’m saying is that sometimes you can think you’re okay, but then something happens to set you off. It’s happened to me before.”

I quietly soak in his words.

“Wes was a big part of your life, Shay. And he hurt you. It’s awesome to see you strong like always, but a random wave of sadness or frustration can hit. It’ll be easier to weather if you acknowledge it instead of just trying to suppress everything.

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